Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
