i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
