I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
