# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
