my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
