i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
