All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
where are you?
Hypothermia
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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