Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
