Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
