I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
