Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
