The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
