so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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