Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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