R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
