So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
