dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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