you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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