it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
