I'm gonna have a badass scar
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
