I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
