stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
