there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize