The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
