real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
