Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
