she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
