That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
