how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
