the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
