My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
