youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
