is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
