I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
