Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize