the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
