I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
