pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I will die if light touches me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
