Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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