I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
