Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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