I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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