One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
