So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
