Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
