First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
