I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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