we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
