im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
