whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
