I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize