whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize