Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
