some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
