Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
