1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
