Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
