Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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