Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
