he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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