thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
