if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
is that a dick in a sweater?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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