He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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