No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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