What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
