I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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